Astrological Gift Guide: 12 Queer Gift Ideas, Broken Down by Zodiac Sign

By Jennifer Culp

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As we all know, there's only one foolproof way to select the perfect gift for every recipient. You don't need to know their favorite color or what they like to do on Saturdays. You don't need to waste time researching their likes and dislikes. All you need to do is find out their zodiac sign. (OK, look, knowing all that other stuff helps, too, but I’m trying to impress you here with my astrological acumen. Your gift to me can be sharing this guide on social media with a caption like, "Wow, she nailed it!")

Fortunately, if you’re queer, you probably already know all of your friend's sun signs, if not their entire charts. Put that knowledge to good use: pick a present below, wrap it up in some James Jeffers for Target packaging, and let's get to giving! Will you give your loved one a cactus or a hot air balloon ride? Let the stars decide! Keep reading to find the ultimate queer gift ideas, broken down by astrological sign.

Click here to jump to a sign: Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces.

Aries like snap judgment and immediate action. They see, and they do. Their decisions happen within a nanosecond, conclusions flashing fully formed into their minds. Usually that works out pretty well for them! But sometimes they could benefit from taking a little time to think, which is you sometimes need to toss a distraction along the path from point A to point B. That's why you’ve got to give your Aries some oracle cards.

Oracle cards can be used for divination or just self-reflection, and they’re not as structured as tarot. Each set has its own symbolism, and interpretations rely more heavily on personal associations and hunches than externally assigned meaning. You’ll need to choose a deck that complements your Aries’ aesthetic! The whole point is to look at the cards you draw, feel your feelings, and note your thoughts — but you’ve got to offer Aries something visually appealing to motivate them to participate.

The Stars Divine deck is astrology-focused, and the Supra Oracle is loosely based on Jungian psychology. The Hide Tarot was created as a meditative journey through grief, The Empty Cup Oracle speaks to endurance, and The (Un)certain Oracle deck is cool because the cards are round, sort of like giant Pogs. Give your Aries the gift of introspection, with some lovely artwork to boot.

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There's no point in avoiding the luxury-loving, comfort-prioritizing stereotypes here. The Tauruses have already retreated into their dens to hibernate for the winter; they won't emerge to complain about my generalizing until spring.

You need to bring Taurus a gift that they can use while they’re snuggled into the nest, and that's not gonna be cheap! Fine jewelry, original art, weekend getaways to tropical locales — that's the stuff that comes to mind when you think of expensive gifts, right? Only the truly discerning — those who properly value their rest — realize that the coveted present which really tests the limits of the one's checking account is… a cozy blanket.

I’m serious! Blankets are expensive! And that's as it should be when they’re hand-crafted; any full-size individually created quilt priced under $500 is a bargain! The toasty warmth of an insulated blanket comes at a cost, too. While Taureans are known to appreciate the finer things, they aren't necessarily price-tag snobs — it's the quality of the product that's important. They will appreciate almost any bed/couch/body covering you offer them, as long as it's comfortable, or at least really cute.

Taureans also appreciate offerings of robes, perhaps even a dressing gown!

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Socks have a totally inaccurate reputation as a drab, unwanted gift. They are, in fact, the best. Socks are necessary protection from cold, blisters, and foot odor. Every individual requires a lot of socks in their personal stash, due to frequent laundering and turnover. Socks wear out quickly in comparison to other garments, because of the whole literally-getting-walked-on thing. When given as a gift, socks pack a double punch: they alleviate an immediate need and they eliminate the future mundane task of buying them for oneself. It's powerful stuff! And you know who really needs it? Gemini.

Think about your Gemini: when was the last time they bought socks for themself? Have they ever? Do they perhaps imagine that socks spontaneously periodically regenerate in drawers and piles on the floor? Maybe a Gemini actually did buy socks once… seven years ago, and they’re still wearing the same pair. The point is that Gemini need socks, and it is up to the rest of us to provide them.

Because this is Gemini, the socks don't have to be boring. We're talking cute pride socks, glitter rainbows, rainbow hearts, or if that's not subtle enough for your Gemini, repeated rainbow rows declaring "GAY." Other options are less colorful but allow for wordplay when purposely mismatched, such as "GAY BITCH," and "I GIVE THE BEST BLOWJOBS’ can explain how your Gemini became a "TROPHY HUSBAND" to anyone who catches a glimpse of their lower calves.

Every Gemini needs at least one pair of Tom of Finland socks for dressy occasions. If your Gemini is often active on their feet, you can add an extra layer of pragmatic consideration to your gift by supplying moisture-wicking foot coverings made from natural fibers. If your Gemini is the type to flash leg all through the winter, tights are also ideal. Give the gift of toasty toes; get your Gemini a set of socks.

Cancer is often cast as the parental personality in group scenarios, responsible and self-sacrificing. When it's time to take pics on a night out, Cancer typically acts as photographer, capturing everyone else's best angles while forgoing their own turn in the spotlight. Now it's time for the friend group to pool money and return the favor: gift your Cancer a professional portrait photoshoot, one that will immortalize them at their most genuine and magnificent.

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This is, of course, a gift for the future. All photographers are scheduled out until after the holidays at this point, and you wouldn't want to rush your Cancer anyway. Looking ahead to 2023, research the queer photographers active in your local scene. You want to find someone whose aesthetic vibes with your Cancer's aura, reach out for a quote, pay for a package of images on your Cancer's behalf in secret, then let them arrange the scheduling at their own convenience once the gift has been revealed.

Just imagine your Cancer through Sass World's lens, saturated with brilliant color in North Carolina! Or they could appear graceful under clear forest water in Florida, immortalized by Shoog McDaniel. Imagine their face in the close-cropped haze of Caro Ramirez's portraits. Find the right photographer for your Cancer, then let them see themself the way you see their soul.

Leo's sign ruler is the Sun. They are a people who require light. Those particularly beholden to the rays of their patron star suffer during the shortened days of winter, and they need something to brighten the cold dreary days. Your Leo needs brilliance, your Leo needs color, your Leo needs prisms or rainbow film to split spectra across the surfaces of their abode during sunlight hours!

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The mental health benefits of sticking your face in a splash of rainbow are immeasurable. SAD lamps are great, but extra-spectral magenta across the eyeballs is fabulous! Decals and glass film work really well to blast a daytime room with color, particularly when placed in east/west windows. You can choose from different patterns to dapple your Leo's space with varying streaks of saturation. If your Leo is particularly fancy, you can also achieve excellent rainbows by stringing up crystal chandelier pieces near their windows. (You can find bulk lots of various shapes on Etsy and eBay.)

For those Leos who prefer to catch their colored light at night, there's always neon! While genuine noble-gas-inside-bent-tubes neon is unfortunately probably over budget for most of us (though always so amazing to admire!), a small piece can be relatively affordable.

A broad suggestion for a gift idea certain to please all Virgos? Ha! Trick question, you can't trap me with this! Virgos are all so particular, each in their own idiosyncratic ways. The only surefire, no-risk way to acquire the perfect gift for your Virgo is to inquire: you have to flat-out ask them what they want.

Virgos generally appreciate this. They don't want you to waste time and money on displeasing them; they are quite happy to assist! Rather than a list of product links, that's the only real suggestion I can give you here: ask your Virgo to choose their own gift, then procure it.

However, if you’ve fallen deeply under a Virgo's sway and feel desperate to impress them, you may remain determined to attempt the Olympic-level feat of surprising a Virgo with a gift they will truly love. This is not impossible! It is merely difficult, time-consuming, and comes with a risk of catastrophic failure… all of which Virgo will appreciate if you manage to pull it off.

In order to gift a Virgo satisfyingly, you must do some espionage. Now is the time to harness your sleuthing skills. Does your Virgo maintain Pinterest boards, or wishlists on shopping sites? That's a start, but you have to be careful: they might curate wishlists strictly, but they could also be using them as a more general bookmarking system — the accuracy is iffy. Now, think about everything your Virgo has ever said and posted over the course of their entire life. Have they ever evinced a wish for something specifically? There you go!

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Finally, you have to recruit their other confidantes into your mission. You need to vet your accomplices carefully here: you need friends who won't spill the beans, and they’ve got to be good enough actors to fish out the information without setting off your Virgo's self-consciousness alarms. This is the surest way to get the best info, but it's a little scary because so much rests on your moles’ performance. If they crack under Virgo's suspicion, the game is up and you won't be able to surprise Virgo about anything again for at least five more calendar years.

Godspeed, soldier. I know you can do this.

Libras have to fight off their reputation of indecisiveness not because they can't make a choice, but because they spend a long time considering all angles before making a decision. Libras also have incredibly exacting personal standards. It can take a Libra a long time to choose a gift for themself. But fortunately for the rest of us, Libra paradoxically happens to be the easiest sign to please with a specific present: give your Libra a fancy notebook.

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That's it! A nice sketchbook or journal with smooth, heavy paper — this will never fail to delight a Libra. It doesn't matter if they already have a notebook, or seventeen notebooks: this one is a new, fresh notebook, simply brimming with potential! Plus, most Libras find it helpful to physically externalize their thoughts, so they go through a lot of notebooks. Some of them journal, a bunch of them draw, a lot of them will write poetry in there. They’ll use it to notate the choreography of a ballet, or compose a song, or jot down their grocery lists, maybe all three. Some of them will record the loveliest instants of a long span of days to cherish on a shelf forever afterward. Others will scratch down their bitterest insecurities, then burn the bound thoughts to ash. There's definitely at least one Libra out there who is doing all of those things simultaneously right now, with a different notebook for each purpose… and yet another Libra who is likewise doing it all, somehow, in a single notebook. Buy them another one anyway.

Scorpios are a simple people: many of them just want to paper their walls with artwork of hot naked people. Obtaining a present for a Scorpio can thus also be a gift to yourself, as you will obviously have to look at a lot of erotic art in order to choose.

As with any gift, you’ll need to consider the predilections of the recipient. Do they have a crush on a particular nekkid art model? Boom, easy. Do they prefer subtlety and cute coyness in their saucy art, or do they want full-on explicit smut? Are they involved in a fandom, and if so, would they appreciate a particular pairing of fictional characters? Do they like surreal erotic imagery that verges on the viscerally unsettling? Excellent.

There's no snobbery in Scorpio nudie art appreciation. Highly skilled, laborious original work? Please purchase if you can afford it! Prints will likewise be received with delighted eyes. Stickers? YES, absolutely! Give a Scorp a naughty zine, give them a pin-up postcard, give them a novelty coaster with a butt on it. Buy from queer artists, give to queer Scorpios; everybody's happy. Enjoy your shopping!

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Once it's unwrapped, what's a Sagittarius supposed to do with an object? Hold it in their hands and feel increasingly tethered to the mundane physical world by a possessions? No! Sagittarius needs an experience gift, an activity you do and then recall memories of later.

Give your Sagittarius a hot air balloon ride. Take them to view Christmas lights and the twinkle of Dolly Parton's sequined ’70s touring costumes at Dollywood. Send your Sag to the top of the Space Needle in Seattle, or accompany them on a lantern tour of Natural Bridge Caverns in San Antonio. Basically anything that could have been a field trip in middle school will be a hit, as they are now able to enjoy it as a full-fledged adult unchained from annoying supervision. Sagittarius is here for experience, not forced education! Skip the guided audio tour when visiting the Biltmore; instead allow your Sag to share their own uninterrupted stream of snark on the tacky interior decorating taste of railroad robber barons.

Choose something accessible in your Sagittarian's geographic area, grab them, and go do it. If they’ve never done it before, fantastic! Sagittarius loves novelty. If they’ve already been there a thousand times? That's awesome, too! Everything a Sagittarius does is brand new; a future activity is always a fresh gift. Be sure to snap pics of your Sag striking a fierce pose or seven with some skeletons at the Wyoming Dinosaur Center, but set the phone down to help them if they overbalance in the airboat while watching alligators in the Florida Everglades.

Capricorns don't want stuff. They’re already stressed about the current level of clutter they have to manage at any given time. No, Capricorns crave information. They only feel relaxed and at peace within their own brains while they are actively in the process of learning something new. That is why, as dorky as this may look in print, you must give your Capricorn the gift of a lesson.

What kind of lesson? That depends on your particular Capricorn. Have they mentioned an interest in learning a particular language? You can give them a gift card to try out an educational program, or set them up with an introductory one-on-one tutored session. Could your Cap use an outlet to release bottled-up frustration? Send them to learn how to box. Cooking instruction is really fun if they enjoy the kitchen — with the caveat that you must assure your Cap that the food prep training is 100% intended for their enjoyment, not a passive-aggressive ploy to get them to cook for you.

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There are myriad options for a crafty Capricorn as well. You can give them a one-stop shop gift card to choose between calligraphy, embroidery, garment construction, watercolor painting — pretty much whatever they could possibly desire artistically. If supplies are required for any lesson you give your Cap, you need to cover costs on that too: otherwise it's only half of a gift!

The most important part of an educational gift is the spirit in which it is given. Your aim here is to offer your Cap a chance to onboard a new skill at their own leisure, if and when they choose to take advantage of the opportunity. It's a gift, not a homework assignment! In order to maximize enjoyment and avoid unintentional messaging, it is vital that this present be delivered with open-hearted, honest assurance that it is an option, not an obligation. Once that's clear, your Cap can enjoy their learning with a happy heart and hungry mind.

Depending on your scenario, this may seem like a somewhat unconventional suggestion. Your Aquarius might live in an alley-facing studio apartment in Minnesota. No matter! The potential complications of sunshine availability and temperature are surmountable: gift Aquarius a cactus.

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They’re alike, Aquarians and cacti, both of them unconventional and self-contained. They bloom with magnificent flowers but keep touch at a distance with dangerous spines. They often seem as if they’re just sitting inert, but they’re actually always internally busy doing their own thing, thriving in circumstances most would consider inhospitable. Sometimes they live for centuries. They’re basically the same sort of entity in human and plant form. It's nice for every Aquarius to have a cactus around so they can occasionally notice that it's grown and reflect on the shared experience of linear time.

This is advanced-level gift-giving, requiring planning in advance. What kind of cactus is best for your Aquarius? You want to offer a specimen that will amuse with implied menace, not actually eventually result in an ER trip to remove barbed glochid spines. You’re better off choosing something with larger but less easily penetrative spines, like a golden barrel cactus. A rainbow hedgehog cactus shows off a pretty purple tint and is safe to touch (gently!) barehanded.

Many Rhipsalis species are pet-safe and enjoy indoor, indirect lighting conditions. The pickle cactus — not technically actually being a cactus by scientific classification — is very household safe. The hanging golden monkey tail cactus is soft to touch unless squeezed aggressively or brushed backwards, and can be safely handled with gloves.

Include a terra cotta pot with a hole in the bottom and show your Aquarius how to bottom-water their new plant. Make sure they’ve cleared a prime windowsill spot for the addition, or supply them with an LED or fluorescent growlight. You’ve done it! Your Aquarius now has a spiny companion for life.

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This is specific, I realize, but trust me: your Pisces needs a Lux Crystal from Blob Blob Studio. Just click through and look at these things, or check out studio founder Wes Valdez's Instagram account to see video of them in motion. The crystals are made of laminated hand-carved glass, and each has two primary colors: one reflected and one transmitted. The result is a mesmerizing color shift, and the finished product looks like a fantasy crystal blipped (or blobbed?) into reality from another universe.

Ruled by Neptune, Pisces are naturally mystical. They each have their own collection of magical objects in which they store and focus energy: a coin, a ring, a selection of semi-precious minerals on a shelf. They don't always know why they cherish these little things, but even the odd cynical Pisces regularly finds themself touching a treasured trinket for comfort. In this regard, a Lux Crystal is appealing to Pisces across the board, from the most skeptical to those who meditate with sodalite balanced on their foreheads daily. Even if your Pisces is one of the rare fishes who doesn't believe in that stuff at all, the Lux Crystal still looks cool as hell! They’ll want one on their bedside table, or they’ll wear it on their body.

The special batch of gorgeous pride pendants created seasonally last June is sold out, but stunning spectral duo color shift pendants are still available. Good luck choosing! If your Pisces wants to adorn themself with even more glass, the studio also offers stud and dangle earrings, ear plugs, and rings. If they’re more of an on-the-shelf admirer than a jewelry wearer, there's also housewares: you could add the perfect color shift blob bowl to hold your Pisces’ new Lux Crystal, unless they feel it would be better displayed on a sexy men snack plate.

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